so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
