I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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