Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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