You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
