and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
