fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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