The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
