i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She bit a glass in half.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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