would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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