You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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