Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
