Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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