I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
well you can't waste a boner
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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