Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
