I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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