I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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