you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
