she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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