I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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