one two three fourrrrnication!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
false alarm, still single
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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