Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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