fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
