stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
