I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
