I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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