New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
