I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
