Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
