The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just googled if crying burns calories
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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