you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
