omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
