i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
