Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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