i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
