Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
