I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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