I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
