No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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