fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
