My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
