I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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