Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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