It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
