He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
