My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
