I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i already hear my dad disowning me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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