Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He? As in you personified your dick?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
