Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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