you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize
