she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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