My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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