I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
