I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
